Listen, Natasha, I know this is painful but it’s what is best for us. I promise, you’ll be better without me”, Daniel said with a seemingly emotional look on his face. Only God knew how much effort he had put into the rehearsal for this. This was the perfect break-up he had planned. The right face, the right voice, the right amount of tears and even the proper distance between them.
It’s one of many options. Maybe he has found another person. Or, maybe God has called him to be a monk. Or, maybe he doesn’t feel that emotional pull towards her. Maybe she’s draining him in more ways than one. The list is endless.
But the perfect break-up goes beyond the event.
The million-dollar question is: Do you remain friends after the break-up or should you cut off communication but still be good? Should you be sworn enemies?
Well, it depends.
On one thing.
It’s simple, you can guess.
Or maybe not.
Okay, seriously I’ll tell you in the next line.
Or not.
Abeg, before you will unsubscribe from my Substack (and hey, subscribe if you haven’t), I’ll tell you in the next line.
It depends on the reason you broke up. Yup, simple as that.
Now, people break up for different reasons. Well, if you found someone else, I don’t think you should remain friends, simply for the person’s mental health. I mean, you don’t want the person finding out and then starting to feel not worth it. See ehh, if I catch you making another person feel bad about themselves (let me not talk)
But seriously, except you’re telling the person up front that you’re breaking up because you found someone else, then please avoid the person.
Now, I can’t go over all the break-up scenarios and give you my gospel on them, it would be too long. But I’ll tell you this, if the break-up centred around infidelity, toxic behaviour, criminal behaviour or abuse, then y’all should absolutely not be friends. To me, these are deal breakers and shouldn’t be tolerated at all. Run away as fast as you can.
This break-up thing got me thinking about Nigeria and the various cessationist groups, the most prominent being Biafra of the South.
From what I heard (I said I heard o, don’t quote me), Nigeria (the northern part) won’t let Biafra (the south) go because they have all the natural resources, including lush vegetation for their cattle, and they (Nigeria) have less.
Now let’s imagine that Nigeria and Biafra were dating. Nigeria won’t let Biafra go because of her money but he keeps cheating on her and abusing her physically, emotionally and otherwise. She’s now in a terrible state because of him.
But one day, Biafra gets the strength from within to break it up. After a struggle, she finally gets to break up with him. Now, should they stay friends?
In case you missed the whole parable, in the case of Biafra successfully cessating from Nigeria, should the two countries partner on an international level
Well, it depends on what the breakup was caused by. Money? Power? Divine calling?
The answer is: Well, tell me what you think. What should cause the break-up and should they remain friends?
P.S: Biafra used in this article is a descriptive term for the states of the south. It is not in any way to endorse the movement that identifies as the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB)